COLLEGE FOOTBALL

Artie Fufkin! He follows up last week’s 55 points with a pool-high 46 mark this week. 5-1 vs. the spread including Boise State’s double win to kick start the weekend. Texas State losing to Louisiana was the only blemish – he jumps the field and sits in 2nd place.

Still chasing Bruce Dickinson. Penn State loses at home to the evil empire (again) and ODU loses at App State. Bruce scores 33 this week, he keeps holding on to yesterday.

Bronko sits in 3rd place with a 41 point week. The Michigan loss – expected. The Purdue loss – coin flip. UCLA has his back with the upset in Lincoln and Tulane scores 20 in a double win vs. Charlotte.

Pining for a new name, EB Beaumont didn’t do quite enough to merit that this week. Thanks to Ohio State. The Buckeyes double win over Penn State was worth a whopping 24 points. Alas, 5 subsequent losses (as he documented) resulted in an 11 point week. He falls to 4th place and enters the “zone of pizza”.

Joining him in the “zone” – Bombo. The commish was all set to blast Bombo – rename him in the worst way for his frightening 6 favorite week. Well hell, he was right. Va Tech, UTEP, and Kansas St (2X) all get upset. 4 points this week for Bombo, only 6 points clear of the bottom 4 and the Group of Pizza.

Closing fast is Champ in 6th place. A 5 win, 41 point week has him gaining ground quickly. The Rainbow Warriors delivered his loss, upsetting Fresno State. Indiana continues to maul opponents and rack up points for Champ.

Operaman keeps playing his own teams against each other. Not a great strategy as it turns out – 6 points between the 2 of them. Liberty, Oklahoma St, Liberty and Navy (2X) all lose. He manages 5 points this week.

Cletus. Oh, Cletus and his beloved Huskers. A home loser to UCLA. Bowl eligibility is like a cruel carrot dangling in front of a broken down program. Clemson loses his double game at home. Coastal Carolina also goes down. Cletus scores 14 points and is thanking his lucky stars for…

Squirrel. He ties his season-high weekly total (40 points) this week with 5 wins. Texas A&M was the stumbling block. With that massive 40 point week, he gains 26 points on Cletus. Only 26 points out of 8th place. Keep reaching for the stars, Squirrel!

Back this week on the tail-end of an ass-kicking bout with Covid.

Perfect day to hunker in and watch college football playoff bubble-bursting games.

Beware the Quack! Artie Fufkin rides Oregon’s big win over ranked Illinois for a 20 point double win. Boise beats UNLV on the road and SMU hangs on in OT at the Dookies. He posts a 55 point week.

Bronko also posts a 6-0 week, scoring 57 points. Bob gets a 16 point double-win from Michigan, a shutout from the Tide, and an upset (?) win from BYU at Central Florida.

EB Beaumont came away unscathed this week. Ohio State struggles with Nebraska at home delivering only 8 points in his double game. The rest of his squad steam-rolled the opposition. He jumps back into 2nd place.

5-1 records for Champ and Bruce Dickinson. Toledo loses at home for Champ. He gets a 16 point win from Miami and the Hoosiers keep piling up points. Bruce Dickinson suffers a blowout loss in his intrasquad tilt as ODU is on a tear.

4-2 weeks for the rest.

Bombo slides back to 3rd place with losses by Washington and UNLV.

Cletus’s Utes lose at Houston as the muddle through the season. EMU loses to the Zips.

Operaman’s #1 pick Liberty loses to Kennesaw. Funny on several levels. And LSU couldn’t pull off the upset in College Station.

Squirrel actually won with Texas A&M, getting 20 points out his double-game. Good job on that, Squirrel. Not so much on UTSA and (never-to-be-drafted-by-Lee-again) No. Illinois.

Another awesome College Football Trip in the books. Neyland Stadium was just as you see it. LOUD, orange, and rabid.

Would have been a great win for Bombo in the pool, but the Vols were on his bench. He still went 6-0 and 6-0 vs. the spread. Led by the Irish (18 pt. double) he gets 59 points and rockets into 2nd place.

Cletus‘s decision to double Nebraska blew up with a demolition in Indiana. -12 points for the week, he’s mired in 8th place.

Squirrel puts up another single digit total. 4 points for the week even with a double win from Texas A&M.

Alabama dropped a double game for Bronko. He scores 18 points and falls to 5th place – 17 points clear of the Group of Pizza.

Operaman and Champ join Cletus and Squirrel in the relegated group. Operaman‘s USC Trojans now the “best 4 loss team” in the country. Miami continues to avoid land mines winning a nice double gam at Louisville for Champ.

EB Beaumont and Artie Fufkin hold down the 3rd and 4th spots. Texas State and Kentucky takes losses for Artie. Arkansas and Ohio lose for EB.

Bruce Dickinson wins 4 games. JMU and Texas lose. His lead shrinks as Bombo gains 27 points this week.

Truncated round-up this week. Brought a case of Covid home, trudging through it.

We had a lot of movement in the middle of the pack this week and the relegated “Group of Pizza” is starting to take shape.

While Lee was busy patting himself on the back for his modestly impressive week 6 showing, his teams took week 7 off. Ole Miss loses his double game in Death Valley. Arizona, UTSA, Maryland, and Ga St also lose. His lone win? WKU – what the hell is that on their helmets? -6 points this week…Squirrel, please.

Joining Squirrel in the Group of Pizza:

Cletus. He’s in 8th place – 59 points ahead of Squirrel. He goes 2-4 with losses by Utah, UNC, and the directional Michigans (not West). Clemson saved the week with an 18 point double win. 15 points for Cletus this week.

Champ. How many points this week, Champ? It’s the loneliest number you’ll ever do. Toledo loses his double game to Buffalo. Cal, SJSU, Fresno St. all take losses. California teams hate Champ! 1 point this week – and a big fall in the standings.

Operaman rounds out the Group – Rutgers -4 point loss to Sconny was the only bump this week. LSU gets a ranked upset win over the Rebs. La Monroe and La Tech also post wins. Loving him the Cajun Country (this week)

The “lousiest of the best” in 5th place – Artie Fufkin. He gets the big showdown win of the week starting Oregon over #2 Ohio State for 11 points. Texas State gets 18 in his 2X game. 13.5 point favorite Kentucky took his only loss – losing at home to the en fuego Diego Pavia Vandy boys. 48 points for Artie this week, distancing himself from the group.

Bombo sits in 4th following a clean 6-0 week. The oddsmakers were tough; 2-4 vs. the spread. Kansas State gets stung by the hook, Tennessee needed OT to get by the Gators. Notre Dame and surprising Army get big wins.

Bronko and his Gophers return victorious – conquering the once-vaunted UCLA Bruins at the Rose Bowl. Terry Donahue is rolling in his grave. Bama squeaks by So. Carolina in his double game. Louisville, Cincy and BYU all win. Bowling Green spoils the week.

EB Beaumont continues to lurk in 2nd place. Wise play not doubling Ohio State, (opting for the anticipated re-match in the Big 10 Championship?) Oregon State loses to UNLV. But big wins from Memphis (10 pts) and Missouri (20 pts) salvage a respectable 39 point week. Might be time to start chasing those points.

Bruce Dickinson bounces back after the week 6 debacle with a 6-0 week. Texas gets a 20 point double win over OU. Penn State manages an OT win at USC but missed covering by 1/2 point costing him the elusive 60 point week. 56 points, he’s 27 points clear of EB at the mid-way point of the pool.

The Marble City awaits boys. Looking forward to the Tennessee trip and a top 10 showdown with Alabama. The atmosphere at Neyland was insane for the Gator game. This one should be a dandy.

Just when we think we’ve got a handle on teams, conferences, contenders and pretenders, College Football delivers a day of upsets. 5 of the top 11 teams in the country lose. All on the road, all conference games.

And, of course, there was carnage in the pool.

Bruce Dickinson loses his double game – James Madison at UL Monroe. NC State and ODU also take losses. 12 points for the week. Everyone gains on the leader.

Bronko also lost his doubler as Bama loses to Vandy. Michigan and Louisville also lose. He scores 13 for the week, the tie with EB is broken.

Bombo’s Tennessee squad got shut down by the Razorbacks in his double game. Boston College and UNLV also lose. 19 points for the week.

Operaman had the bittersweet double loss at USC goes down at the hands of the Beloved. Okie State struggles continue and Rutgers drops it’s first game of the year at Nebraska.

Champ wins the week with a 6-0 week and 40 points. Miami avoids the upset at Cal in his double game. The Hoosiers keep racking up points with a road cover at Northwestern.

TCU and UNC take home losses for Cletus. Clemson continues it’s roll with a nice double win at Florida State.

ECU and UCF deal Artie Fufkin a couple losses. Boise State wins big in his double game.

EB Beaumont gets losses from Missouri and South Alabama. The Ohio State gets an 18 point double win over the Hawkeyes. Next week: Beware the Quack!

And Chip Diller posts a decent week. Ole Miss and Texas A&M get 10 point wins. Arizona loses to Texas Tech. The rook remains safely locked in the basement.

The curse of the #1 pick continues beyond the Reggie/Bombo era. Georgia overslept for it’s game in Tuscaloosa and couldn’t climb out of a deep-deep hole. It’s a double-loss putting the icing on a week 5 turd cake. Fresno State gets routed by UNLV and Kansas is what we thought they were, losers at home to TCU. 5 points for the week spells the end of Ralph Malph. Welcome to the pool…

Champ.

Not to be outdone, Chip Diller’s over-confidence in his coach-crush Lane Kiffen caught up to him with a double loss at home to Kentucky. Georgia State loses Modern Day Hate at home, UAB gets throttled by Navy, and No. Illinois continues it’s post-Irish slide. 2 wins for a grand total of 1 point this week. He’s 125 points out of the lead – 41 points out of 8th place.

Cletus remains in 8th place. Nebraska gets a nice road double-win for the Huskers. The Big 12 landmine got him this week as Utah loses at home to Arizona – likewise for Baylor vs. BYU.

Despite cursing them early, the Trojans delivered a double win for Operaman. He elects to take the 0 with the Liberty cancellation. La. Tech loses to Fla Int. He cobbles together 39 points for the week and sits in 7th place.

2 losses for Artie Fufkin this week. Texas State loses by a point at home to Sam Houston and UCF gets rolled at home by Colorado. Boise gets a nice double win over Washington State. He sits in 6th place – 7 points behind Champ.

Notre Dame beats ranked Louisville for an 18 point double win for Bombo. He goes 5-1, Rice loses at home to Charlotte. 40 points for the week, 4th place in the standings.

Bronko and EB Beaumont are tied for 2nd place after 5 weeks. Isn’t that cute? Bronko got an 11 point win out of the Tide – his double game (Michigan over Minnesota) scored 8 points. BYU picks up a nice road win at Baylor. BGSU loses to ODU for his lone loss.

EB is starting to get covers out of Ohio State. The win over Sparty tallied 20 points. Alas, Troy loses at home to UL Monroe and Air Force falls to Wyoming. 38 points for the week, tied for 2nd/3rd.

Bruce Dickinson‘s line-ups have been pure gold. Another 6-0 week, he sits at 29-1 for the year. His Sooners get a road SEC win at Auburn, NC State finally wins a game and the Modern Day Hate trophy was a cherry on top.

Ed Harken : A lot of you have been hearing the affiliates complaining about a lack of diversity on the news team.

Champ Kind : What in the hell’s diversity?

Ron Burgundy : Well, I could be wrong, but I believe diversity is an old, old wooden ship that was used during the Civil War era.

Champ Kind : It is anchor *man*, not anchor *lady*. And that is a scientific fact.

After a couple-thirteen-fourteen Rhule-Aids, Dave took the plunge and went with his heart, doubling the early season media-darling Cornhuskers. Big Red rewarded him with possibly the worst offensive series in the history of overtimes. That loss set the tone for the week. Utah State follows with a home loss to Temple, UNC likewise vs. JMU, and the icing on the cake – FlaInt losing at home to Monmouth. Iowa’s win over Minnesota kept him above 0 for the week. He posts the first single-digit total for 2024. 5 points for our newest moniker. Show your self out, Doorman. Enter, Cletus.

In honor of Cletus Fischer, a former NU assistant coach, the Cletus Fischer Award is presented annually to the senior player selected by the Husker coaches, who best exemplifies the following qualities: good work ethic; competitiveness; leadership; forthrightness; sense of humor; pride; loyalty and love of Nebraska.

Operaman was in Cletus territory, losing 3 games. Oklahoma State, USC, and La Tech takes losses. LSU posts a no-cover double win over UCLA. The high notes are a bit flat this week, totaling a meager 17 points.

The top score of the week goes to Bronko. The premature start of App State results in a quick loss, followed by 5 wins – all covers. Duke gets a road cover in his double game and Cincy pitches a shutout. 51 points for the week.

1 point behind with 50; Bruce Dickinson and Ralph Malph.

Bruce gets a double cover win out of Texas, a shutout from Penn State, a road-dog win from JMU, and a miracle win from Colorado. His Sooners were the only loss of the week.

Ralph gets a road double win as Fresno beats New Mexico. Miami and Indiana (?) continue to roll. Toledo’s loss to WKU was the lone setback.

Chip Diller gets 5 wins and scores 40 points for the first time the season. No. Illinois loses to Buffalo in MACtion to deal him his loss. Ole Miss conctinues the march of the creampuffs in his double games.

Artie Fufkin, Bombo, and EB scored in the 30s this week.

36 points for Bombo powered by Tennessee’s pool-high 20 point double win at Oklahoma. Kansas State got drilled at BYU for his 1 loss this week.

38 points for Artie. Syracuse gets upset at home by Stanford. Boise wins his double game, the safe 12 points over FCS Portland State

31 points for EB. Memphis gets dunked by Navy giving up 56 points. Mizzou needs OT to beat Vandy. And Ohio State gets another no-cover double win good for 8 points.

Bruce Dickinson regains the top spot in the standings, posting his 3rd undefeated week. Texas has a coming out party for Arch Manning (and starts a QB controversy?). His Sooners bounce back beating Tulane with a big one on the horizon, welcoming Gameday and Tennessee in week 4.

No need for deep thoughts from EB Beaumont on Saturday. His teams roll along with Michigan State posting a shutout. Memphis wins as an underdog at Florida State. Arkansas gets a no-cover win in his double game as he goes 6-0 but slides back to 2nd place.

Behind the flying wedge, Bronko bruised his way up the standings this week. 

Michigan wins his double game but not the spread.

Even winning picks can cause some dread.

The Gophers held Nevada to a nice round zero.

Maybe PJ is becoming Bronko’s hero.

Doorman rounds out the 6-0 lineups this week, but 0-4 vs. the spread took a huge bite out of his weekly total. Nebraska’s double win garnered 2 defensive points. 6 wins and 38 points for the week. He’s in a 4th place tie with his Husker brother,…

Ralph Malph. Kentucky put a scare into Ralph and the Bulldogs Saturday night. He survives the upset but not many points in that double game. Miami and Fresno State post shutout wins. Rock Chalk loses its second straight for Ralph, but hey, at least they’re not Florida State.

Bombo joins the pool and promptly wins the week with 54 points on 5 wins. Washington loses the Boeing Apple Cup for his only loss. The Irish pick up 20 pts. in his double game, Tennessee scores 10 with a shutout cover of Kent State. 

West Virginia loses the Backyard Brawl and Jacksonville State loses at EMU dealing Operaman 2 losses. 1-4 vs. the spread, his only cover was a double win by Oklahoma State. 30 points for the week and 7th place in the pool.

Artie Fufkin got a jump start on the losing this week with a Texas State Thursday night loss. East Carolina also lost at home to App. State. A no cover double win out of Western Michigan offered minimal upside help. He scores 29 for the week and is very thankful we expanded to 9 teams.

Which leaves us Chip. What an entrance into the pool for our rookie;

He leads the pool in:

Losses – 8 (Seriously Chip, 10-8 during the “easy” part of the season?) 

Losses vs the Spread – 8 (This is the worst stat you can lead in)

Fewest points scored – 80 (22 points out of 8th place)

Most double game points – 52 (65% of his total points in 3 wins) -That’s strange.

The 2024 Seminoles are the worst draft pick in the history of the pool to date. And the tough thing? Even if they turn it around, how the hell can you start ‘em? Ugh.

On paper, it looked like a sleepy week 2 in college football. I mean, the Irish were pretty much penciled in the playoffs after the win in College Station.

Not so fast…

E.B Beaumont’s defenses continue to dominate the early season. 3 more shutouts this week (Mizzou, Oregon St., and Ohio St. in his double game) gives him 6 shutouts for the season. He jumps from 4th place into the lead. Air Force loses at home to SJSU for his only loss.

Bruce Dickinson is the lone unbeaten in the pool, but a non-cover double win from Oklahoma and the gutless non-double of Texas over Michigan cost him the lead in the pool.

The big mover this week is Operaman. USC gets a 10 point win with a shutout. LSU get the safe double win over Nichols St. He moves from 8th place to 3rd.

Doorman drops from 2nd place to 4th. Iowa loses at home. Clemson bounces back in a big way vs. App. State.

FAU and Kansas take losses for Ralph Malph. He sits in 5th place, a spot above relegation.

Which leaves us with the best of the lousiest, Bronko. The Gophs pitch a shutout and he gets a big upset win from BYU over SMU. Cincinnati loses by a point to Pitt. 

The SMU loss along with Kentucky’s brutal showing at home vs. So. Carolina bumps Artie Fufkin down to 7th place. 

Wake up the echoes! The echoes of Reggie yelling as he plummets down the standings with the Irish home loss to NIU, finding familiar territory in 8th place. In a move that Charlie Finley would love, we’re trading Reggie for a bag of shag balls, some pine tar, a barrel of Double Bubble and…. 

BOMBO! – At the age of 7, his youth manager started calling him Bombo – which means “fly ball”. Keep swinging for the fences, Bombo!

Which leaves the 2024 afterthought, our expansion charity case, finding his way through the wilderness. 3 more losses (Maryland, UAB, UTSA). The Ole Miss routing of the cream puffs salvaged a horrible week. He’s doing a great job filling the shoes of Grande. 

Chip Diller, all is not well.

We now consecrate the bond of obedience. 

Assume the position.

Whap! – Georgia Tech upsets Florida State.

“Thank you sir, may I have another?”

Whap! – Boston College pounds FSU in Tallahassee.

Yes, Chip Diller. There will be many more paddles to your ass coming.

The Seminoles pull off a 2-loss week for Chip and confidence is obviously shaken. 

Ole Miss shuts out the Fur-men in Chip’s double game. Maryland and Miss State get defensive bonus points in wins. Chip sits in last place after week 1 – Welcome to the pool, Rook! Now wash our jockstraps like a good boy.

Reggie also opened his season with a couple whiffs. Double-digit favorite Rice loses at home to San Houston and double-digit favorite Va Tech loses at Vandy. Notre Dame beats the ranked Aggies in College Station and his other 3 winners get defensive points to avoid the cellar.

8th place belongs to Operaman, thanks to an intrasquad LSU loss to his USC Trojans. His other 5 FCS opponents provided no spread points for the taking. A meager 35 points for the week. 

The Ohio State massive spread quandary bit E.B. Beaumont in the butt this week. A 52-6 win over Akron results in a no-cover 10 points. Mizzou, Memphis, and Arkansas all pitch shutouts in their FCS wins. Those big bonus points resulted in 49 points and 4th place in the standings.

Artie Fufkin submitted a low-risk / low-reward week 1 lineup and it paid predictable mediocre dividends. Kentucky gets a shutout win. ECF and SMU get defensive points. He sits in 5th place, one spot above the “relegated line”. 

Georgia’s smack-down of Dabo-ball was good for a big 20 point win getting ranked and defensive bonus points for Ralph Malph. The U made a statement as well, blowing up The Swamp and Billy-ball. 52 points for the week, good for 3rd place.

Tied at the top – Doorman and Bruce Dickinson.

Doorman gets a shutout double win from the Utes. Iowa also pitches a shutout. Baylor, Nebraska, and Auburn get defensive points.

Bruce Dickinson starts the season where he ended the last 2 – on top of the standings. Texas gets a shutout, Oklahoma and USF get defensive points. 

Finally, coming out of retirement, Bob settles in 6th place with a 5-1 week. Alabama gets an impressive win/shutout/cover. Duke and Louisville get defensive points. The ole alma mater snagged him with a home loss to North Carolina. And that’s where we’ll go for the initial moniker for our returning former champ. His namesake won a couple NFL championships with the Chicago Bears, then came out of retirement to win a 3rd. He was a fullback and defensive tackle. And a great pro wrestler. The pool welcomes back Bronko.

A couple notes – In parentheses is the season total for record and vs. the spread. Under Double it’s your total points for your double game.